Monday, August 25, 2008

The Physician Assistant

The other day, I had an appointment to make a final decision on shoulder surgery. (yes, the shoulder injury that started out as a neck strain according to the urgent care moron) The surgeon was booked up, so I was scheduled to see the PA. Of course, the PA seemed to feel the need to re-invent the wheel, asking me questions and having me do things he could have read about in the chart. No big deal, until we got into range of motion.
"Raise your arm out this way" "Do you want me to stop when it starts to hurt?" "No, I want to see how high you can raise your arm" WTF? I can raise my arm all the way over my head - it just hurts like the dickens to do it, and that's not normal! In hindsight, I should have said the following...
"OK, I'll do that, but first you have to drop your pants. I'll grab hold of your penis, and you start to back up. No, don't stop when it hurts, I want to see how far it will stretch."

Oh, by the way, surgery is September 9th. I'm tempted to go see the urgent care dude afterwards and tell him I had neck surgery on my shoulder...

7 comments:

clayg said...

As a practicing PA I find this comment pretty typical for those who don't know much about medicine. Pain is just one way to gauge a condition. Some other things you might want to consider are if the pain increases each degree above your head, if there has been a change in the range since the last time you were seen, etc. This would have been done whether you saw the PA or the MD because its protocol to reassess a condition for progression, ESPECIALLY before surgery. Its not reinventing the wheel, its making sure everything is documented so that you have the most successful surgery possible. If the chart said it hurt, but now it didn't hurt nearly as bad then that might show you are getting better and may not need the surgery, so forgive him for making sure things haven't changed.
Another thing, the PA's penis wasn't hurting so there would be no need for the second part of the scenario, unless you're fascination with penises was just that strong. I have a suggestion for you: Why don't you either grab your own penis if you can find it and stop ripping on people who spent years in school to help you, or just start your own clinic since you obviously know all the answers.

ed said...

PAs are far and wide the laziest bunch of irresponsible losers out of the medical "professional", thats why they picked the job instead of being an actual doc. No calls, straight pay, less admin shit to do. Ive been done wrong by urgent care PAs and wont see anyone but an MD now. I find your comment typical of immature adults who project their own positive self image onto everyone with the same, job ,car, house etc. alot of PAs suck get over it or shut up

Andy said...

You seem to complain about them asking stupid questions, yet complain when people do the things they do. It's a double standard. He asks those questions because people are idiots. You're not exempt. Shit, you think you'd know that and be tolerant. Guess not. Although many of your stories I find funny, I also find that you, yourself, are arrogant and shit-headed. Although I tend to feel that about anybody who blogs about themselves. It's mostly narcissists, anyway. Good day to you.

Lauren Kazlo said...

Word. And I'm a nurse.

Justin Time said...

Clayg, you clearly wasted your time with ed b/c, wow, what a POS

Malcolm H said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Justin Time said...

...and sickofstupidpeople must be super-sick of him/herself for clear and obvious reasons.
A pharmacist, who's job it is to fill prescriptions made by PAs. Thanks for the laugh though.