Thursday, July 3, 2008

Stupid criminals

Some forgeries are pretty good, and we miss them until someone points out to us at a later date that the person is known for passing forged prescriptions. Some are more obvious, and others are downright outrageous. We look at them and KNOW the person HAD to be higher than a kite when writing their own script.
Recently, a gal who used to work for a doctor and stole a prescription pad upon her termination from the office presented us with this:
Hydrorodone/APAP 1750/17.50 #80 - 1q46hprn
Soma #80 - 1750/17.50 tid
Xanx 2mg #80 (no directions)
We told her we'd have to call the doctor for the lack of directions on the "Xanx", and she took off. We confirmed with the doctor's office that this was a forgery (like confirmation was necessary? HAHA!) and made a note in her profile, thinking she'd never come back.
Lo and behold, last week, she was high enough to try it again! This time she completely left the strength of the "hydrorodone" off the script, but we didn't tell her we were calling anyone. Idiot stuck around long enough to end up hauled out in handcuffs.
But wait! There's more!
The next day, I get a call from the office manager for the doctor, and she said our stupid criminal had the nerve to call the manager up and ask for help getting out of this legal bind - "Can you call the police and tell them the doctor gave me permission to write my own scripts?"
Yeah. Right. Must have been high again...


Shalom said...


Reminds me of the guy who stole an elderly couple's Social Security check, and tried to cash it claiming that his name was "John And Mary Smith" (or whatever). His excuse was that his mother was expecting twins, so when only he showed up, they gave him both names...

We had one guy in our store who tried to refill his Celebrex early every month, each time with a different excuse. Finally he claimed to have lost it on the bus. I told him to go to the police station and file a Lost Property Report, which they never want to do as Filing a Forged Instrument is a more serious crime than cheating Medicaid. He says Okay and leaves. Five minutes later he's back with a handwritten note on a piece of lined paper torn from a kid's notebook. "To whom it may concern: This is to certify that Joe Luser left his medicine on the bus. Signed, the 26th Precinct." I asked him what was the name and badge number of the officer he spoke with. "Um, ... " "Get out of my store."

James H said...

Why in the world would someone have a problem with making a celebrex RX last as long as it should? Further more, why wouldn't the patient just call his Dr. for a dosage adjustment if he felt the current dose wasn't adequate? It's not like it's a controlled, or even remotely abusable.